What is sex?
When we learned about sex in school, most of us only heard the ‘How to Make a Baby’ version. It was limited to “a man and a woman,” explained as “penis in vagina,” and the rest of sex ed was scary pictures of sexually transmitted infections (STIs). This is barely the tip of the iceberg, and leaves a lot of people out. It’s also fear-based and hella boring.
Instead: think of sex as people agreeing to share their bodies with one another. We know that sounds floofy, but sex is really just a way of expressing yourself.
It’s fun, it feels good, and it’s shared pleasure and shared responsibility.
Sex is a skill in more than just the physical sense: sex requires mutual respect, communication, negotiation, and careful consideration.
Sex isn’t limited to just “penis in vagina.” Sometimes people use their hands, mouths, or sex toys to give and receive pleasure. Sometimes people use their vagina or fronthole, their penis or strapless, their anus or ass, or other parts of their body. Sometimes people sext or use technology to stay in touch. Sometimes there are more than two people involved. Sometimes there’s just one. Sex is different for everyone, and is constantly evolving.
It’s important that we:
- Understand that what sex means to me will probably be different than what sex means to you.
- Offer support, not judgment or shame, to people who have questions or like something different.
- “Do what you like, with who you like, and make sure they like it, too!” This way, we focus on consent and pleasure, without making shame- or fear-based judgments.